What happens when our feelings outrun
our faith?
At the conclusion of the Last Supper,
Jesus and his disciples would have sung a hymn.
During the course of singing the hymns that night- which would have been
centered on Psalm 113-118, the traditional hymns sung at Passover- Jesus would
have made several statements.
He would have pledged to keep his vows
in the presence of all the people:
“What shall I render to the Lord for all his benefits to me?
I will
lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord,
I will pay my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his
people.
Precious
in the sight of the Lord is
the death of his saints.
O Lord, I am your servant; I am your servant, the son of your maidservant.
You
have loosed my bonds.
I will offer to you the sacrifice of
thanksgiving and call on the name
of the Lord.
I will pay my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his
people,
in the courts of the house of the Lord, in your midst, O Jerusalem.
Praise
the Lord!”
-
Psalm 116:12-19
He would have called upon the Gentiles
to join in the praise of God:
“Praise
the Lord, all nations! Extol him, all peoples!
For great is his steadfast love toward us,
and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.
Praise
the Lord!”
-
Psalm 117
And one
of the last things he would have said would have been the following words:
“I shall not die, but live, and declare the
works of the Lord.”
-
Psalm 118:17
The
boldness of the final statement is especially striking. In that boldness, we see Jesus’ understanding
that the events, events which seemed to have captured him, were really part of God’s
plan for redemption. He quotes from the
prophet Zechariah, “Strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered…” (Zechariah
13:7), all the while knowing that the context of the passage is the forgiveness
of Israel. Back up to the beginning of
Zechariah 13 and we read; “On that day there shall be a fountain opened for the
house of David and the inhabitants of Jerusalem, to cleanse them from sin and
uncleanness.” (Zechariah 13:1) Jesus isn’t
proof-texting, rather he’s showing that his own suffering is part and parcel
with God’s plan to redeem mankind. God’s
agency in all these things is even communicated by a subtle change in the text
itself, for while Zechariah reads “strike the shepherd”, in Mark Jesus says “I
will strike the shepherd”, stressing God’s role in what is about to take
place.
Now
that what Jesus is about to endure has become crystal clear, it’s a fair point
to ask, “where are Peter, James, and John?”
What has happened to the ones who just a few chapters prior boldly
proclaimed their willingness, and their ability, to go to hell and back with
Jesus if need be. While the other
disciples remain silent, possibly pondering their fate if they remain with
Jesus, Peter maintains his fervor in maintaining that he will show unswerving
devotion to Jesus, even to the point of death.
Who among us hasn’t been in Peter’s shoes? Caught up in the emotion of the moment,
feeling that our commitment or character is being questioned, who among us hasn’t
boldly proclaimed our feelings in powerful ways, only to realize that our mouth
had written a check that our heart couldn’t cash. So it is when our feelings outrun our
faith. It can be discouraging, and in
some circumstance downright humiliating.
It’s hard to even see a bright side to the situation.
And yet
there is one. There’s a bright side in
the fact that God knows of our weaknesses, even if we haven’t realized them
yet, and he loves us nonetheless. In the
words of Augustine:
“God knows in us even what we ourselves
do not know in ourselves. For Peter did
not know his weakness when he heard from the Lord that he would deny him three
times.”
– Augustine, Tractate on John
What God knew in Peter, he also knows in us. He saw Peter’s enthusiasm, and knew that it
often times set him up for failure. He also
saw Peter’s heart, and the potential for Peter to accomplish great things with
a little help from the Holy Spirit. If
you find your mouth writing checks that your faith can’t cash, don’t write
smaller checks, pray for a larger faith!
No comments:
Post a Comment